Misery is a choice

By Barbara A. Schoeneberger

Altarpiece of the Seven Joys of Mary (Wikimedia Commons)

Do you know people who are truly miserable? I am not speaking here of that great percentage of the world who live in poverty and disease, in war-torn countries, victims of natural disasters that destroy lives completely, or where people face a choice of convert to this or that religion or die. I am also not speaking of sexually and physically abused children nor of those who have been trafficked for financial gain of others, nor of the many other evils in the world. That temporal misery is forced upon persons by outside powers for evil and selfish purposes. 

I am speaking of misery of heart and soul – an invisible misery that manifests itself outwardly most particularly by sins of the tongue, angry outbursts, rash judgment, destruction of property and/or relationships. The kind of internal churning misery that repels others and perpetuates itself both in oneself and in others in our lives with whom we interact.

We all know the constant complainer, the super-critic who is pleased about nothing, the selfish controller of others who continually resorts to manipulation to get what he or she wants. We all know our share of Chicken Littles for whom the sky is falling almost every day. Their lives are full of constant drama, singularly joyless. And who has not known active alcoholics and others addicts of all types? They live in a continual torment and spinning of fears, often using addiction as a way not to face the demons inside themselves. Maybe, just maybe, we can apply these descriptions to ourselves at one time or another in our lives.


Continue reading at Barb's blog Suffering with Joy.

Forgive and forget

By Lara

The Penitent Girl by Rotari (photo credit: Wikimedia Commons).

I’m in a bit of a pickle.  Over the past year, I have completed most of the works of mercy.  But there is one that I have avoided with a vengeance -- forgiveness.

Forgive others.  It sounds simple compared to some of the other works of mercy that have been more time-consuming. After all, I wouldn’t have to find a person in need or an organization to help.  I don’t have to make phone calls or appointments.  I don’t even have to go anywhere.  Doing it lies within me.  Yet, when I get into the elusive details of this fundamental teaching of my faith, forgive and forget easily turns into forget.  As in, forget it.

The concept of forgiveness truly mystifies me.  I picture a magician waving a wand, saying an incantation – maybe even a small cloud of smoke appears. Poof!  Ladies and gentlemen, we have forgiveness!

Except we don’t. 

I don’t want you to misunderstand either.  I am a very easy going person.  I don’t hold grudges.  There’s nobody I wish ill on and to my recollection there never has been. 

A few months ago, a decades old wound was opened.  I was surprised how bad it both hurt and angered me when it was something so far removed from my life. 

Would I have felt that way, if had I forgiven this person?

For days I thought about the encounter.  I hated that it bothered me. I was mad at myself for being bothered.  I felt angsty, confused and sad. I thought a lot about the person I was at the time.  It occurred to me that I needed to forgive myself as much as anyone.   

 

Continue reading at Lara's blog  Mercy Me! I've got work to do!

Anger is serious business

by Barbara A. Schoeneberger

The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things: Anger by Bosch (photo in Public Domain)

Getting angry – who hasn’t? Especially getting angry with those we are closest to and who are most likely to act in ways that seem designed to trip our triggers. Some family members just can’t get together without blow-ups, some of which lead to physical violence. Some neighbors carry grudges against other neighbors and taunt them in various ways. Opposing organizations heave insults at one another in an attempt to diminish each other in the eyes of the public. Then there are blog comboxes that host innumerable ugly words.

Anger seems to be one of the easiest emotions to kindle and one that leads to resentment and a desire for revenge on others, a very dangerous situation. How seriously Jesus views anger and its outward expression in epithets hurled at one another should give all of us pause. The consequence of ad hominem attacks is hell if we fail to repent, as we learn in the Gospel for the Fifth Sunday After Pentecost in the 1962 calendar.

Jesus has just finished His Beatitudes sermon recounted in Matthew 5 and told the crowd that they are the salt of the earth and light of the world. Then He announces that He is here to fulfill the Law, not abolish it and that the Law will remain until the end of time.  All this leads up to the first sentence of Matt. 5: 20-24:

For I say to you that unless your justice exceeds that of the Scribes and Pharisees, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.

The Scribes and Pharisees were all about externals in regard to the Law. Jesus tells us that we must be internally righteous or we will go to hell, no matter how holy we may look on the outside to everybody else. He says something related in Matt. 15:17-20, when the disciples run to Him with the information that the Pharisees are upset that he said to them, “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man: but what cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” In no uncertain terms Our Lord replies:

Do you not understand, that whatsoever entereth into the mouth, goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the privy? But the things which proceed out of the mouth, come forth from the heart, and those things defile a man. For from the heart come forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false testimonies, blasphemies. These are the things that defile a man.

Continue reading at Barabara's blog  Suffering With Joy.