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Saturday, November 9, 2013

Like nails on a blackboard

By Patricia

File:Thérèse de Lisieux - Entrée au carmel.jpg
Statue of St. Therese with her father, Bl. Louis Martin
(Wikimedia Commons).

“….I saw only too well how very imperfect was my love for my Sisters; I did not really love them as Jesus loves them. I see now that true charity consists in bearing with the faults of those about us, never being surprised at their weaknesses, but edified at the least sign of virtue.”
The Hidden Face by Ida Gorres, p. 240

Today I had to deal with someone whose total self-absorption gives me that nails-on-a-blackboard feeling. They frequently seek me out to relate their most recent trials and tribulations, which they deem to trump any that others will ever have to bear. Never is there an inquiry as to how I am doing, and if I happen to mention any of my problems, I am met with deafening silence. This goes on regularly, and my association with this person is such that I cannot avoid these encounters.

I am grateful as always for the wisdom of Therese, which makes me look beyond the surface. I know that this is a wounded person, and that they probably need the attention. As for me, should I really be seeking sympathy from others?

When I truly need it, I’m sure the Lord will send it. But most often, I believe He loves us to turn to Him for comfort, rather than to fellow creatures. I know that he permits us to be rebuffed to whittle down our pride, and remind us to be willing to suffer our little travails for love of Him.

Continue reading at  I Want to See God..


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    1. I believe Jesus wills or allows this relationship because it helps Him form you into being more like Him. Your patience is tested. Maybe He wants to show you how to help this person. I wonder what the root cause of all this complaining is? It might be interesting to try to find out - or not. Maybe it's a small cross to bear and there is nothing to do about it other than surrender to it - with a smile on your face.

    2. I agree with you, Charles. Jesus does indeed use these kinds of circumstances to help us practice virtue. I do know some of the reasons this person is this way. Often a person's scars are invisible. Lately, I have been praying that the Lord will heal this person's heart. Meanwhile, I think the lesson here is for me to learn to be more patient, and also to give without seeming to receive anything in return. It has become easier over time, and so I know the Lord is helping! Thank you so much for your insightful comment! Blessings always...

  2. Such a good way to look at this kind of situation. I've been there also with a particular friend or two. Learning to be compassionate towards a selfish individual brings peace to our own souls rather than frustration. Thank you for this reminder :-)

    1. Monica, Therese always offers us such wisdom, doesn't she? Being compassionate is such a good thing. I'm sure many people like this don't realize how they sound. They are just hurting so much inside, and sometimes it's hard for them to offer kind words to others. Of course, we all need to work at not being selfish, even if we ourselves are hurting. I think praying for such individuals would please Our Lord very much. Also, keeping tabs on our own complaining :) I have days when I think: Can't believe I said that!!! Love and blessings to you, Monica.


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