|Painting by Adolf Friedrich Erdman|
It was as insistent, sometimes, as a telephone ringing. A persistent "come… come… come" that I couldn’t quite ignore. Walking by the stairs leading up to the chapel of my high school, I almost always sensed that pull. I imagined I felt the way steel might in the presence of a strong magnet. Only, steel would not try to pull away as I often did.
I was eighteen. The year before, rather quietly, God had begun to make Himself real to me, and I found I wanted to grow closer to Him. So I had left public high school for a Catholic girls’ academy taught by semi-cloistered nuns. In this place of peace and stillness a path was cleared for the Lord’s gentle voice to get through to me. At first I stopped long enough to listen. But as the school year progressed, I became more and more afraid of what the Lord was actually calling me to do.
This concern was particularly striking one day when my Speech teacher stopped me after class.
"I had a little dream about you last night," Sister said with a gentle smile. "I dreamed you joined our Order here…"
I was suddenly, acutely, aware of a hammering in my chest and ears, and of heat rising in my cheeks. I think I managed to murmur something halfway coherent as I hurried away, wondering "what is God trying to tell me? Was that merely an idle dream that Sister thought I’d find amusing?" Or was it something else. Everyone I’d known who appeared to really love the Lord seemed to be in a convent or serving as a priest. Surely God didn’t call anyone as I’d felt Him calling me unless it was to be a Religious.
Continue reading at Nancy's blog The Cloistered Heart.